Never a Sacrifice
by Teddy R. Lupin
Summary: Remus looked down at her, with a loss of what to say, but the words came to him. "If it makes you happy, Lily…" he murmured back, "It's not a sacrifice."  Lily Evans comes to Remus to confess her love. It just isn't for him.


Wow, an even shorter fanfic! -shudders- It's...it's...less than 1,000 words! I'm totally gasping on the spot. Nah, just joking. I knew it was short, I just didn't know...h-how...s-short... -stammers- Well, I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, I know this has been written before, but...I've always had this as a head canon. I think Lily would trust Remus the most, even though she knew he wasn't being completely honest with her. In this one, though, she does know about his furry little problem. :)

This fic is dedicated to a friend of mine who's already read this, but is a huge James/Lily shipper. As you might be able to tell from this, I ship Remus/Lily fully, but...I'd written this a while ago, and I figured...why the hell not?

And so it begins.

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Yawning and rubbing his eyes, Remus Lupin blearily focused his caramel irises upon his Advanced Transfiguration textbook. As he yawned again, he looked down at his watch. No wonder he was so tired – it was four in the morning. He ruffled his normally neat hair, brushing it out of his eyes.

"Early morning or late night?" asked a humoured voice from the foot of the stairs.

Remus almost jumped, but recognising the voice, he turned and laughed with a tired smile. "I suppose I could ask you the same question," he admitted with a raised eyebrow, standing to greet his visitor.

Lily Evans smiled at him sadly, cocking her head to the side. "Couldn't sleep, could you?" she asked knowingly, reaching over to him, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

"I…" Remus could feel his cheek burning, but he ignored it as best he could, distracting himself with a sigh. "The nightmares have gotten worse," he said quietly. "I can feel them growing closer."

"To here?" asked Lily, and Remus could have sworn he saw a flash of fear pass across her compassionate, beautiful face.

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "To _me_. I…" Remus swallowed and ran his fingers through his hair yet again. "Lily, I feel like I'm becoming more like _them_."

"You're _nothing_ like them, Remus," she said softly, taking his face in her hands. "Never think so low of yourself. You're my best friend, and I love you more than I could ever possibly explain." He allowed her a brief smile and reached up to take one of her hands in his, squeezing it gently.

Lily looked down, biting her lip. "Rem…" she said quietly, "Rem…I have to tell you something." What struck Remus at first was that, for the first time in his memory of her, the beautiful girl in front of him sounded scared. He looked back over to the couch and gently tugged her hand in a gesture to follow him. A soft smile remained etched onto his pale face, and he watched her silently. She looked down at her hands that were now twisting in her lap. "I love – "

But she didn't have to say it.

"I know," he said quietly, reaching over to cover her nervous hands with one of his. "You don't have to tell me."

"H-how?" she stammered, her normally pale skin turning the same colour as her hair.

"Never mind how I know," he said, his typically bright amber eyes dark and sad. "It's not me that matters. Lily, if you truly love him, make sure he knows how you feel. Goodness knows I already do."

She frowned. "Is…is that why you pulled away?" she asked softly, her emerald eyes wide.

Remus said nothing for a moment, but slowly nodded. "Yes," he eventually whispered, his voice catching.

Lily pushed off the couch slightly and landed in Remus's arms. He held her tightly, pressing simply a chaste kiss to her forehead, running his hands down her long hair. "You've always been too observant," she murmured, her voice muffled by his shirt. "And too self-sacrificing."

He looked down at her, with a loss of what to say, but the words came to him. "If it makes you happy, Lily…" he murmured back, "It's not a sacrifice."

She pulled away and watched him closely, her emerald eyes boring into his light brown. "I was never able to determine who my best friend was," she said after a brief silence, "Because none of the girls I'd ever made friends with seemed to fit the description." She smiled warmly at him. "I know now that I was just looking in the wrong places. You know me better than anyone."

Remus's breath caught and he blinked through a smile. "I always tried so hard to be there for you," he said, his shaking voice a quiet admission. "But it was always him, wasn't it?"

Lily bit her lip to keep from smiling, but nodded slowly. "Yes," she said softly. "Remus, I'm sorry."

He suddenly stood up, his body uncomfortably close to hers. "You don't need to apologise to me," he said, his voice a low murmur. "You've never needed to." He gathered his books and slung his bag over his shoulder, his honey-coloured hair glistening in the light given off by the waning fire. Remus Lupin turned back to the girl he loved. "I hope James makes you happy, Lily."

And then he was gone.

_Fin. _

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So, so, so...what'd you think? Please leave me a review! It makes me post more. Though I seem to post anyway... -shuts up- I mean, I don't post at all! Not at all! -rages-

And Nymphadora (you know who you are), your fic's still coming, the one I promised you...it's half-written. I just haven't gotten onto my computer to type any of it yet. Journalism tomorrow's a possibility, though.

TRL


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